How NOT to fill out an application!

How NOT to fill out an application!

Postby Phaidra » Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:24 am

Level:
70

Race:
Tauren

Character Name
<anonymous>

Year of birth
March 1984

Geographic Location
Eastern USA

Have you read all the posts on the Recruitment Forum and General & News Forum?
Yes

Do you agree to the Mission Statement?
Yes

What is your preferred spec?
Prot

Are you open to try other specs? Or respec if needed for specific runs?
Yes

What are you trade skills and professions?
eng, fishing, cooking

What raids and/or times do you anticipate being able to register for?
Any
Do you know someone who will give you a recommendation that is currently in the guild?
No =(

Explain your prior guild experience.
3 guilds, up to tier 5 content

Explain your prior raiding experience.
All of tier 4

What was your last guild? Why do you (or did you) want to leave?
<anonymous>, I don't feel that they are using me to my full capabilities

How do you feel about loot? Receiving, loot policies, passing, acquiring, etc...
If someones deserves loot, than they should get it

What are you looking for in a guild?
skilled players who know what they're doing

Why do you want to join Insomnia?
i hear you are good and are progressing, that is what I am looking for most

Describe your personality.
friendly

Explain how you handle criticism and/or suggestions.
Well, and I learn from it

Why would you be good addition to Insomnia?
Cause I am amazing

Is this application complete? Did you follow the instructions and fill it out to the best of your ability?
I think so
User avatar
Phaidra
Guild Master
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 12:04 pm

Re: How NOT to fill out an application!

Postby Phaidra » Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:26 am

And if we ask you to re-apply... Here is an example of what NOT to do:

Name:
• <Anonymous>

Class:
• Paladin

Level:
• 80

Race:
• Blood Elf

Character Name
• <Anonymous>, short for nothing. I picked the name because I felt like it. I'm not sure what else I can say about my character name, but I am supposed to put as much effort as possible!

Year of Birth & Geographic Location
• I was born a poor black child in 1990, in a small town called <blank>. This is in the United States. On the continent of North America. This is directly north of South America. This is on planet earth, which receives light from the Sun.

Are you the original owner of this account? Is the character you are applying on your main character?
• I am the original owner of this account and pay with my credit card ending in 9015 since 2004. It is my main character I have played exactly 12 days 12 hours 32 mins and 14 seconds. Wait... 17 seconds. Now 23. I'm not really sure I can get this question exactly right.

Armory Link
http://www.wowarmory.com/anonymous
THIS IS A LINK TO MY ARMORY. BLIZZARD INCOMPANY HOSTS THIS WEBSITE, WHICH DISPLAYS MY WORLD OF WARCRAFT CHARACTER INFO.

Has your character ever undergone any name changes? If so, please list.
• Yes, I got a re-customization. I paid exactly 15 american currency for this purchase AND used the same credit card, ending in ************9999. Would you like my social security number? My previous name was <Anonymous>. I felt that it did not display my presence of maturity, as I made the character when I was 4. Now I'm 20 and things are much different.

Have you read all the posts on the Recruitment Forum and General & News Forum? Do you agree to the Mission Statement?
• I HAVE READ ALL OF THEM. I learned this skill of reading in second grade. I was an advanced learner. My teacher was Mrs. Jane Doe. She had really, really nice boobs. I totally agree with that mission statement. It has a certain amount of mission in it. Especially that mission orientated part. Great stuff.

What is your preferred spec? Are you open to try other specs or respec if needed for specific runs?
• My preferred spec, or talent tree, or path, is known as holy. Not to be confused with a holy priest, because I am in fact a paladin. I use heals. To holy stuff up. I am more than willing to try other specs. Assassination, destruction, restoration... any of them! They all sound great. I am so rich too... I can respec as many times as ya'll want. Just say the word and I'll switch to a frost paladin. Or maybe I should go affliction and tank the little shits on Blood Princes for ya'll. I'll cast those dots like no other! DOTs stand for damage over time. Here is a wikipedia entry to further explain: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damage_over_time

What are your trade skills and professions? Why did you choose these professions?
• My trade skills include the art of jewel creation and the art of inscribing upon things. I inscribed on my shoulders, making me super l33t. I also have 2 epic cuts, and they both benefit only my class. I am too lazy to do the jewelcrafting daily every single fucking day. It just drags on and is a pain in the ass without epic flying, you know? Perhaps one of you could log on my account and do the daily for me everyday? Here is my account info: fuckyou666 and the password is douchebag7.

What raids and/or times do you anticipate being able to register for?
• You know, I have a blog on which I post my entire schedule so that when I leave the house... people can come and rob my shit. I can give you an all inclusive pass to this blog to view my schedule ANYTIME you want!!!! That way, you can for SURE know if I will be on for a raid or not. Who wants to post on a forum a day or two ahead of time declaring you cannot make the raid? But in all seriousness, I have no rl friends, no gf, and no family. I'm just a lowlife fuck so I expect to make nearly EVERY raid. I do work a job SOMETIMES nights, from exactly 5pm server to 12 am (aka midnight). This MAY occasionally CONFLICT with the raid time. Once again, please check your mailboxes for that all inclusive pass to my weekly schedule. Feel free to walk in my house and raid the fridge of beer.

Do you know someone who will give you a recommendation that is currently in the guild?
• Yes, I know someone... Great guy. I met him in WOTLK on February 27, 2009. You can check my blog that date to read the hot feeling and times I had for him that VERY special day.

What is your guild history? List at least three. How long were you with them? Why did you leave them?
• My guild history is this. I HAVE MY OWN GUILD UPON WHICH I USE FOR THE GBANK. I am a packrat IRL, and so is my World of Warcraft, the MMORPG, character. His name is <Anonymous>. He is a Holy paladin but ONCE AGAIN WILL RESPEC TO ANY FROST/DESTRUCTION/RESTORATION. Whatever you need, bro. Oh yeah, I was in <Blank>. Vanilla and beginning of WOTLK before I transferred my druid. You can get on his account here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HrSN7176XI

Explain your prior raiding experience.
• One time in vanilla (the expression we use for the ORIGINAL WORLD OF WARCRAFT, before expansion BURNING CRUSADE), I did Blackwing Lair, which is in the mighty mountain of Blackrock Mountain!!!! Baconn always owned me here. One time I caused a wipe on Nefarion because I felt like it. I did some AQ!!!!! OMG it was so fun. Then during BC I had some personal issues. (Mainly my first period). Then I came back in WOTLK. It was so fun. My old buds at <Blank> took me back. Found out they still love me. I did some TOC mang. And naxx. Was a blast. Naxxramas is SO MUCH FUN OMGGGG!!!!!! Lets just go back and cuddle. I've done up to Sindragosa on 10 man and BQ on 25. Wow. Not barbeque sauce, fucking idiot. Blood Queen.

Please give us an idea of your current gaming system. What is your average FPS during boss fights? Do you have a problem with disconnects?
• MY SYSTEM IS A MACBOOK PRO. You can find a picture of my macbook here: http://www.layoutlocator.com/graphics/d ... finger.jpg
I bought it last year with this credit card ************9999. I love that credit card, it has a cute puppy on the front! My average fps (aka fucks per second) are about .0120 - and I'm not sure how many times that equates to masturbating daily. Probably like once an hour? I do work, son. I never disconnect. Only when I want to help my mom with the laundry upstairs. God I hate going up there....

How do you feel about loot? Loot policies, receiving, passing, acquiring, and so forth.
• I love loot. I'm a dirty loot whore, isn't that what we're all here for? Forget my previous explanation of just wanting to have fun with a group of guys. GIVE ME THE FUCKING LOOT! No passing, only receiving, bro.

What are you looking for in a guild?
• Looking for a great group of guys. Not like the asshole who declined my application because there was "not enough information". Fuck you, idiot. I put PLENTY more information than that application that is an "example" on the forums here, and Insomnia.

Why do you want to join Insomnia? Why would you be good addition to Insomnia?
• I'm not so sure. You guys PvE... right? Maybe I want to PvE.... and down some bosses. MAYBE I'm lonely and looking for a home. God damn refrigerator box gets so fucking cold in the winter. I would be a great addition. Addition is WAY better than subtraction. Would you rather your bank account be added to or subtracted from?!?!? Stupid question, doh.

Describe your personality.
• I'm a really sarcastic son of a bitch. Fuck the police.

Explain how you handle criticism and/or suggestions.
• SHIT THAT LAST ANSWER WASN'T LONG ENOUGH. Here is a link to my personality profile. It is all included in your inclusive blog tickets. =D http://yourepresent.com/images/defaultprofile.jpg
Anyway. I love criticism. Can't you tell? YOUR ANSWERS ARE TOO FUCKING SHORT BRO. So I improved. Happy?

Is this application complete? Did you follow the instructions and fill it out to the best of your ability?
• Fuck yeah its complete. Hell yeah it is in state of completion. Holy shit I did damn goooood. I filled and followed every fucking instruction. I owned that shit. I'm fucking awesome. Godddd damn. Go me. It's my fucking birthday. Wahoo.

Anything else?
• Yeah, Thank you for applying to Insomnia. Unfortunately we did not receive enough information on your application, which lacked enough detail to get to know you. It was advised in the instructions for the application to make sure you put in as much detail as possible, as this is how we review your personality, effort, and eligibility.



Fuck you. Did I put enough effort into it now? Jesus Christ.
User avatar
Phaidra
Guild Master
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 12:04 pm


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